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Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 02:48 pm A thought....
Current Mood: calm
hmm this week has been pretty crappy! Only due to lots of things not having the outcome I had hoped. I won't bore you by listing them all and none of them are life threatening or that bad in the whole scheme of things, but just all bugger up plans made and make things really difficult. Yet despite this I feel strangely calm and positive. Maybe I'm kidding myself that everything will turn out ok, but I guess I'm not at that horrible desperate stage when you have no other options left and know that everything has gone to pot.hmmmm maybe next week things will turn out better!
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Jul. 27th, 2005 @ 12:56 pm Hello, hello, hello
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: genral office sounds
ohhh an update at last! And that is all to be said on the matter! How is everyone? have you all realised that it is the summer! yupyup know it's hard to remember! Long gone are the summer holidays when all you had to worry about was .... well nothing apart form would you be aloud out later then your friends. Haven't had much of a summer yet, Ive been working flat out waitressing in winchester at the weekends and then temping during the week in Leicester. But its all for a good cause, me and kc are saving up to spend 3 weeks out in america at my parents house after his resit in September. It just can't come quick enough. We are like ships in the night most of the time, me working 9-5 and him working 6-1ish, have had lots of half asleep conversations, but it really does make the quality time QUALITY and having someone next to you more nights then not is heaven. I miss home home. Recap! home home is house in saltash, here is leicester, house is temporary house in winchester, house house is THE house in winchester, which we move into this weekend! *phew* But i do especially over the really sunny week we had, I wanted to be on Dartmoor, or the beach, or plymbridge not in an office in a big grey city. If everything goes to plan though should be spending about a week and a half at home home which will be great, get to catchup with all the people i miss and do the things that I have been thinking about for ages. Finish work here on the 19th of August , then I'm spending a couple days with KC's family in a chalay (no idea how to spell that) at Great Yarmouth and then Party on down to funky town till its back up for KC's resit an then on to the big U.S of A. But till then its work, work,work. My mum and brother have come up for a few days though which is nice, they have come back for a few weeks but I couldn't make it down. Tobin's voice is soo deep! I missed them more then I realised, its really nice to see them. Anywho my lovelys i better stop slacking and get on with this dam community buildings audit im doing for the council, probably sounds more exciting then it is,
cheerio
xax
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mutley
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Mar. 21st, 2005 @ 01:40 am warning not the happiest of rambles p.s happy first day of spring day
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: smash bros tune
Haven't written in a while, not much to write about just getting on with uni stuff till the term ends which it finally has.But the last couple of weeks have been jammd pack with emotional horrible rollercoater rides. My grandad told the family just before christmas that he had been diagonsed with cancer, this has been getting progessivly worst since then spreading to his spain and liver last week there was a call saying he had been given days to live as there was nothing more the doctors could do. Im so glad my mu was back from America at the tie it would have been hell to have rung her and explained. I wasn't sure if i wanted to see him, me and beth spent christmas at my nans knowing it could be the last time we would see him. But im glad i did, deep down i had a regret that i hadn't gone to the pub with him when he asked, instead i stayed back and wrapped presents sounds little but it was playing on my mind. Ihad to go home fopr diploma exam which was on the friday, it went ok, my last every speech and drama exam which if i can pass means i can teach and make some money out of it, i wanted it to be perfect and the weeks effect not effect iot to be able to prove that i was a good actress beacuse i could hid it all but i slid up on a couple of words and missed some lines out. fingers crossed though just a month to wait till i find out. Anywho i stopped in at my names and walked into my grandads room, it was horrible he was lying in bed with the family just sat around him waiting, you could almost visible see death stood in the corner looking at his watch. It was the waiting i couldn't stand and the rattle breath that was just filed with pain. But i gave him a kiss before i left, i had been scared to worring about it all night but with the kiss went my regret and i feel better thinking about it. Grandad died last saturday in the early hours of the morning. I had lectures and drama assessments all weekend, yes the weekend so i didn't really have time to think about it to much but i still went throught the whole thing in a daze. The Funeral was on Friday, im glad it over for everyone it was very sad and the pain of seeing my mum cry teeters me on the edge now. I drove back from my nanas that night to drop Beth to Biringham and carry on to KC;s were im spending most of the Easter. But the hour journy between the two in fact took me almost 4 hours, My car broke down in the middle lane of the M6 in rush hour traffic. I was all by myself in the pitch dark in a broken down car with no cover with a phone with very little battery not having a fucking clue what to do. Has to be one of the scariest most desperate times of my life and i sat huddled in my car crying for a very long time, after a very nice white van man finally stopped and pushed me onto the hard sholder. In the end i texted my sister asking to ring the rac or something and they put her through to the police as i was a 'driver at risk' no shit! i really didn't need it after the funeral i just wanted a hug and to sleep for a loooong time. A guy came after what seemed a lifetime and fixed it straight away not having a clue why it had just died without even a splutter but as he was looking at the engine a huge crash accored feet waya formus and a car burst into flames. I jsut stood in shhock , everyone was fine but it lead me to think that for some reason i had to be there and was delayed for a reason, before we left my keys had been locked in the car and me and beth spent and hourishe trying tho hook them and pull the throught the gap in the windo, ingenius!!! this is long unpunctuated misspelled entry but its goona stay that way im afraid. sorry about it though had a lot to get down. Hope everyone has a great easter whatever your doing, its my 21st bday on thursday and im planning on going go karting and drinking martinis dressed all smart afetr gettiung a hair cut and feeling better, just what i need.
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mutley
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Feb. 1st, 2005 @ 12:43 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: the whirrling of leicester uni's computer room
16 roundabouts i have to go round to get to kc's 16!! and yupyup i counted them! Well there isn't much else to do when your driving 2 1/2 hours by yourself except play the 'ohhh what cd shall i listen to next' game!
So all my exams, essays, stress is over for the week, oh yessssss. Had english exam yesterday went ok hopefully I've passed. The oh so peaceful sleep i was hoping for the night before didn't happen when my housemate, who has the room above mine, decided to have a party in her room with her work friends from half 2 till about 6ish. Consisting of reallly loud cheesy shit music, lots of banging as they climbed in and out of the window onto the roof and the sound of some of them peeing over the edge of the house! ahh happy dreaming! Didn't us my 25% extra time for the exam though, but then i never know if thats a good thing or a bad one. But now i am freeeee so im not thinking of it anymore.
I am spending the week chilling out up here with kc and his friends doing nothing but resting, catching up on some reading and having lots of snuggles, the perfect way to recover after what has been 2 weeks of hell :o)
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Jan. 28th, 2005 @ 12:17 pm for anyone not feeling great ......
hope this helps http://www.natashascorner.com/nutrigrain_medium.htm (fraid i don't know how you get it to be a link so think your'll have to copy and paste sorry :oS) Found thanks to Harry! xax
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Jan. 26th, 2005 @ 08:07 pm Last week...
Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: blink 182
so got my drama research in on time, and i didn't have mumps just a stinking cold so all was goodish. Been rehearsing my brain out for my performance exam tomorrow but think its paid off. Everything is a lot tighter and not so static so fingers crossed. Cut my hand pretty bad monday evening on a glass, which was a pretty stupid thing to do. Made my hand swell up something funny. writing my essay that is due in on friday is proving difficult but i applied for an extenstion today so hopefully i get a bit more time.DOH!
Last week.....
Coolest thing : Seeing a huge, gorgeous fox walking along the road at 4.30 in the morning on my way back from work
Biggest achievement: Staying within my phone minutes
Learnt: you can relate Freud's theory on the unconscious to anything even a play written way before it was published
Wish I hadn't: Stepped on a guide dogs tail :oS Stress over £10 I thought I was missing out on
There is a God: Being able to drive straight into a parking space when I finally got home form work on saturday (5.30am ish) and not having to drive round for hours or get up at 7am and move it
Greatest invention: Halls soothers and mashed potato
Arrrr moment: Having a week with case to look forward to
What about you guys?
xax
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Jan. 21st, 2005 @ 02:43 pm bluh (Sorry its a bit of a panicked moan!)
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: the killers
I feel like crap! I have a really sore throat, my glands are up and im really tired all the time! And my bloody tooth is still really painful.The scary thing is there is an epidemic of mumps going round my uni and winchester at the moment! :oS I haven't got time to be ill. I have a 3,500 word research portfolio due in on monday a drama performance exam on Thursday with rehearsals all week and a 2,500 word english essay due in friday THEN a 2 1/2 hour english exam on the 31st!!! I haven't started any of it. And all I feel like doing is curling up in bed and going to sleep. :o( Hugs plz
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mutley
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Jan. 10th, 2005 @ 02:17 pm I hate the dentist part 2
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: The Ataris-End is forever
I don't think I can ever remember having tooth ache. But since the evil one, known as the dentist, the tooth that was drilled has been really hurting :0( Its all achy and sensitive. Is that meant to happen? Thought the filling was meant to make things better, not that I had any pain to make better grrr!
On a happier note got an essay back from last term and got 63/100 woohoo so thats groovy just got to do well in the performance and I reckon I could get a high 2:1 for that module ohyeah
I'm back at uni, well back in Winchester. Semester 2 doesn't start till 7th of feb but have lots and lots of essays to do and a lovely exam lurking on the 31st funfun
Haven't any of my uni friends yet, don't think many of them are back and I have 4 essays for speech and drama to do for tuesday so have kinda been locked in my room at the computer not getting much done.
My big scary house (apparently ghosts have been seen) has been empty whcich isn't so much fun. I really wanted to watch sea of souls, some ghosty program on bbc1 but got to freaked out and ended up channel skipping for the whole durasion of the programm whenever the msuic turned a bit threating. Very silly! doh!
Mum and Dad have found some appartments they might buy over in Albahma, but every time I speak to them its something different. Gonna stay, coming back etcetc think there just on a roller coaster at the mo its pretty major stuff. Think its gonna end with them selling Homer Park which I am NOT happy about. I know it makes sense but Saltash is my base and its nice to be able to go home for a bit in the holiday and see everyone but not have to stay with them and be there 24/7, and its so close to the sea hmm.
But apparently Tobin is going through puberty, arr my ickle brother!! He has grown loads and his voice keeps breaking, Hope I don't miss all of that. I have imagined since I new I was goona get a little brother all the jokes I could make about his voice and it will suck if I don't get to hear any of it.
Anywho back to work
Hope everyone is good, 10 days into 2005 Already!!
xax
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mutley
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Jan. 5th, 2005 @ 02:12 pm I hate the dentist
Current Mood: numb
boohoo! bloody profession. Today at the age of 20 and 3/4 I Amberlee Foote had my very first filling :0( The left side of my face if very numb and I keep eating my lip and not realising. The dentist said she didn't really have to do it but was going to, to be on the safe side. How about asking me before you shove a huge needle into the side of my mouth and drill happily away. OK, to give her a tiny bit of credit she did KINDLY go through all the noises i would hear while she was doing it so I knew what to expect. Don't think it helped much and i sat there like a big lump of jelly.
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Jan. 4th, 2005 @ 02:31 pm let the merrynes continue
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Who killed the Zutons
Well the party is over! All that remains is the beer stained floor, the photos and of course the memories. I really had an awesome awesome new year, it was everything I wanted it to be. The party went well, well thats what I have gathered from various people. I myself was far far away in the land of white rabbits, baddies and the many animals forms that my brain deiced that KC took. I had a very very cool trip and spent the early hours of the morning being Alice in wonderland. I was the best feeling to be able to go wherever my brain took me, lying next to my gorgeous, also tripping bebee surrounded by the noises of my friends having fun and of course bopit :O) And to end the best beginning of a year I still got to go to the beach even though my stupid car was kaput, thanks to Craig. It felt so good to have all the cobwebs and drug fumes of 2004 be blown away. Arr happy me. It has put me in a great frame of mind for 2005 and was just what I needed. I have happy vibes for this year and that is always a great way to start something new. As for resolutions hmm, I think I am gonna try and voice my opinion more, I tend to go along with other people rather then do what it is I want to do because I don't want to hurt there feelings or whatever. Apart form that I know what I need to change in myself and I am going to strive that this year is the year that I manage to change them.

On a more materialistic note. I bought some really awesome shoes today. I have stupid big wide feet and normally the shoes I really like never fit. But I found 2 pairs in the sale and they both fit, to replace my falling apart cherry shoes. Now I have to decided which ones to keep, hmm red van pumps, or blue paul frank ones, uhh its a toughie :o)

Happy new year everybody, I hope it is one of your best filled with lots of smiles, sparkles and hugs
Arr its 2005!!!!
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Aug. 21st, 2004 @ 10:47 am home sweet home ???
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: five for fighting
well the wandering has finished, im back and the stress started even before I got on the plane. When i find out work, that my mother had decided im doing, clashes with bestest uni buddys party, then to get home and have shit loads of bills waiting for me on my desk. One telling me my phone bill can't be paid coz there isn't enough money in my bank so is going to be cut off in 10 days if its not sorted out and the bank is charging me £30 (ohh the pound sign key is back on the keyboard ££££, sorry distractions) which puts me in a foul mood right from the beginning, one of those horrible ones which can't be broken. Then not 5 minutes into the 'welcome home' family meal getting all the KC related shit that i was told had been resolved and was oh so peachy whilst I was away. they all sound pretty small but after not having to think about anything like above crisises for a month, just being outside all day ever day it kinda sucks to come straight back to it all .....sigh
But its good to be back... no really. i DID miss everyone and is nice not to be living out of a bag anymore. Things got sorted, they always do, its just the fact that your have to go through the horrible gut wretching hide in a corner and hope everything will sort it's self out panic first. In the end I had to borrow a stupid amount of money off my parents which I hate doing and have to wait for my loan to come through to sort everything else out.
On a happy chipper note KC is still mine :O) This is a very big deal for me, after the whole going away being cheated on finding out from someone else steve crap that I got last year. I kinda built up a huge, pretty understandable, complex about the whole going away for an extended period of time thing. But all is groovy and it doesn't really feel like I have been gone at all. Things just slipped back to were I left them, the being in love butterflies im so lucky hope this last forever bit. It's the best feeling knowing thats kc's mine again and I can just ring up him up for a hug knowing he can come round without having to jump on a plane and fly half way round the world.
Things are good, I had a great time and again.... its good to be back
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Jul. 24th, 2004 @ 12:24 pm Just doing it for the kids man
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: death cab for the cutie
hellloo from the u.s of a
So I made it over here, eventually it was a very loonnngg flight. I stopped in iceland, which looks Awesome, anyone fancy a holiday there sometime?? then it was 6 hours to baltimore and I was sat surrounded by high school kids who keep bloody whispering to each other about whether I was in there school or not. SO When I got my visa form I made sure everyone heard I was from ENGLAND and not some sad loser form there school who has no friends!
Once here Ive just been meeting up with everyone from last year and helping set up for the 2 week camping trip that leaves tomorrow. ahh. And answering loads of questions on what we all thinkl of bush and blair etcetc
I went and saw Bourne Superacy last night which was really good action all the way. Think its out pretty soon in England.
I'm really looking forward to getting down to the isloands though, thats where i was for my gap year. Just to see it again and be so close ton the bayy and drive boats. nice! I'm goona get to try water skiing cool huh!
Anywho amongst all that, I'm missing kc loads. Things just don't seem as exciting when you haven't got the person you wanna be there and share things with.
Hope everyones summer is going good
see you later alligators
game over
xox
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mutley
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Jul. 16th, 2004 @ 09:33 am byebye
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: musicing it to the max xox
so im off, to america for a month to visit the friends i made on my gap year. I am stood in Heathrow Airport right now still waiting to check in, even though I have been here since 6am. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone again but not to missing KC. When he went to prague it was like a little taster and it sucked. But the say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I really really hope so.
I hope everyone has a great summer and st. Merrin is really fun, im bummed im missing it.
See you all when I get back
Beb's I love you
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mutley
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Jun. 12th, 2004 @ 05:42 pm No alchoal required
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Dashboard Confessional
I had such a good night last night, my friends were headlining a gig in this really cool pub in Winchester, yes there is one!!!! It has the best atmosphere and its all arty and studenty, but its being closed by some corporate fuckers in 2 weeks dam it!!! I think because it was closing soon everyone was pretty hyped up anyway. But it was packed and the guys played one of the best gigs ive seen them play in a while, check them out: www.theantigonist.co.uk. I wasn't drinking because i was driving, but I didn't need to. I just felt really happy and I danced like a idiot and spoke to loads of really nice random people all night! Fabulous. Then we helped clean up and stayed and ate toasties till about half 2. Arr this is the life.
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Jun. 10th, 2004 @ 06:25 pm doobedo
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Sounds of summer floating in through my window
Well no random ironic happening for me! Everything got in just marvelous and I feel 100% better but very very tired. I worked my butt off today at worked this a very rare occasion because it is just me in the shop and NO ONE ever comes in. Yes VERY VERY boring. But i feel really good, like I've achieved something and that I can leave working there feel ok. Its closing down probably due to just read comment above!!!
Things are looking up about my house next year to we are gonna sign an internal agreement that if anyone leave they cover ther rent not us and things like that. So hopefully that we put parents mind at rest.
Well I off to vote, my first time ever ahhh I feel old! Really don't know enough about the parties and there policies of anything. But i got sent a flyer saying 'NO TUITION FEES' 'NO TOP UP FEES' so thats whos gonna get my vote.
happy voting.
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Jun. 9th, 2004 @ 08:23 am FRREEEEDDDOOMMM
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: the slowly dissolving sense of worriedness
I've done it, Ive done it! My essays are finished. Everything is finished. I have nooo worries. Now i can just sit back and enjoy the last two weeks of my first year at uni with my friends knowing that I have nothing else to think about (touch wood!)
Oh the feeling of relief and excitement that is slowly creeping into my stomach is great. Right im going to get up and go hand them in, watch me get hit my a bus or a freak lightening storm or something else stupidly random and ironic and all the work will have been for nothing! I'll let you know
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Jun. 8th, 2004 @ 06:33 pm arrr pretty sky
Current Mood: peaceful
Today Venus was in front of the sun and I really really wanted to see it. I was up and everything, I just didn't have those special glasses you needed. So instead I watched on the news!!! BORING!! but for some unknown reason to man I woke up at 4am and was drawn to my window and there in perfect view was a really beautiful sunrise, the sun was bright red and all the sky and clouds were all orangey. I so glad I woke up for it
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Jun. 5th, 2004 @ 10:25 pm haaappppiness
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Alien Resurrection opening credits
don't you just love it when you can make your self snap out of a depressive mood just by thinking about the things you have in life! Yep i still have 3 2000 word essays to write but am i worried NOPE i feel happy and content and good
Hope everyone is feeling just as groovy as me coz its a REALLY good feeling!
OH SHIT I have just spilt Beer all over Jeromes computer!!!!but everything is oookkkkey and he just carries on playing gituar!
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Jun. 1st, 2004 @ 04:24 pm No new and exciting stuff here!!!
Current Mood: stupid!!!
Current Music: badly played wonderwall on the clarinet by housemates
YUPYUP i knew it exam was at 2pm, stupid evil person of unsureness so....
Exam (check) essay no.1 (check)
ok so thats my exam done and dusted never to be thought of EVER again (well until the results come out and i realise i have to retake or something stupid). It wasn't to bad the little revision i did actually do was one of the questions. But I had that feeling when youve revised something and learnt about it so much that when it comes to the exam you just really can't be bothered to write about it anymore, you wanna write about something new and exciting! Trouble is its an exam and you don't know any of the other question and the point of stupid exams IS to bore you to death and try and show people what you've remembered of what you've learnt.pahhh stupid stupid.
so now its just 3 essays to go funfun
p.s i apologise for the amount of 'stupid's' in this entry but well everything is ....sorry im stopping
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mutley
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Jun. 1st, 2004 @ 12:35 am damdam
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: zzzzzzzzzzzz
ahhhhhhh some crazy women has just rung up and said that my exam is at 9am not 2pm. I sure it's 2, my other friends say 2 and the fact that i need to start revision tomorrow morning says its 2!!!god now ive got that horrible is it isn;t it feeling in my stomach dam
Right I am gonna do what I do in most stressful situations and pretend that it never happened!!!
whistlewhistle zzzzzzzzzz
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